You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Boobs are out for the taking
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
