They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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