Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
