There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
