I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
