I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
