Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
