sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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