oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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