TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
