Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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