Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
