The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
