you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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