So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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