that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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