...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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