She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
