I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
