My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
