can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize