her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
