this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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