so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
