Why are handjobs necessary in class?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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