I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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