dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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