I accidentally burped into my bong.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
