I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize