The maid of honor just puked.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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