he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
