I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
wow bdsm is so cute
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
