Is it because I queefed?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize