he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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