He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I love you. Go after that dick
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