New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize