Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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