he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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