He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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