Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
