Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
