don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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