Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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