For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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