The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
