I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
