i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I have tasted many bathrooms
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize