In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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