Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
