The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
