3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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