First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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