Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She bit a glass in half.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
