How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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