Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
