I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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