why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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