There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize