you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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