I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
