honey bunches of taint.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
so much tequila, so little girl.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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