How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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