Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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