Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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