it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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