no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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