Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
If its not for food we ain't going out.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
