I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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