Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
birth control should be required to get into college
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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