Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
