If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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