dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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