he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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